Following thru but, not for the right reasons

   An Update for week 4

  Wow what a couple weeks I have had.   My eyes were opened up to A LOT of my short comings and I was devastated.   But first, I want to share the good news that lead me up to the bad news.

 I went to visit my son in Richmond, Virgina a couple of weeks ago, and that was the last time I checked in for the the Peak 313 challenge.  The time I got to spend with my son was nothing short of feeling God's love. I quickly realized that He planned this and put it all together for me.  

 My son didn't get to play (and that was the main reason I had to go, was to watch him play).   Just watching him come out on the field was enough for me.  As I was buying my ticket and walking in to the stadium, an aunt, that I love dearly and can talk to for hours, called.  I was so over come with emotion that my throat closed up and I literally couldn't talk.  I had to hang up and text her my explanation, while fighting tears of pride, excitement and love that only a parent can explain. I was getting to see MY SON! play football on Friday night for the first time.  

 Here is some back ground on the different states:  At the age of 12 he decided to go move to Virgina with his dad to establish a relationship with him.   My son and I have a very close relationship and he wanted that with his dad also....so now I only get to see him a couple weeks in the summer and when ever school schedules work out for a random Christmas visit.  

  The game itself was wonderful, but God even threw a bonus in there for me.   My son is also dating my best friend's, from my military days, daughter.  They came to watch him play also.  So, it was a wonderful reunion.  His team even came back from trailing the entire game to win in the last minute of play and the defense was able to hold the opponent at the goal line to win by 3. I was defiantly was quoting lines from "Facing Giants"  like Brick Wall! Brick Wall.....One more down!! ( my daughter turned to me and said I have watched that moving too much)

 The next day our two families met at the State Fair and enjoyed some wonderful time together.  Sunday morning, in my quiet time with God, I realized then that He set this all up just for me.  I felt His love wrapped around me all weekend and was just soaking in it, watching my kids sleep in our hotel room

  I was able to stick to the Metabolic Research Center's meal plans I have been on since my last visit up there, even taking the kids to eat pizza and my favorite food group...fair food....I lost 1.5 pounds while on this trip.  I was able to keep up with the exercises for the week also.

 Here comes to the bad:

  While wanting to share my happiness with my family and tagging my group in our pictures and location on Facebook...I accidentally  tagged someone that wasn't there.  This caused a ripple with my husbands family and an early morning phone call to my husband.   So, when I got the phone call while on the road and about 12 hours from my home, I was trying to figure out what was going on...so there went on my happiness from the previous two days.  I sorta went on an internet fast, except for my work.  

 During this period, I try to focus on how I could have prevented this, and handle the situation better.   Trust me!  I handled this so badly, that, this is the exact behavior the enemy loves and uses, especially with non-believers...who claim to be Christians and refuse to go to church because of hypocrites. My words were twisted and apology was never heard in the retelling of the incident.  

 I realized that I was more concerned at what my father-in -law thought of me, than I was of what my Heavenly Father thought of me at that moment.   I was/am crushed.   I could blame it on sleep deprivation, shock, hurt, or any number of things...but what it boiled down to was, I failed in my test to show how I am any different from the secular world.   

 I also realized that my dedication  in the exercise challenge was the competitive nature in me....So, as I was praying, it came to me that I need to forfeit by not checking in.  This was very difficult for me. But, for me to follow thru with the actions and requirements of this challenge and not take credit of  "how good I am doing" and just do it for the right reasons.  

  I am not going to imply that God told me not to check in, but putting aside the "how good I am"  "Yay Me!" mentality was a lesson I needed to put in check.   Now! I am doing if for His glory alone; as He is rebuilding my temple.   

 I thank Clare at Peak313.com for showing me some fun exercises that I have been able to enjoy these past 4 weeks and I am still going to finish strong on week 6,7, and 8. I have learned more scripture than I have in the past as the Bible has it written, not in my words.   My exercising, these past few weeks just have taken a different role than what the challenge was about.   I am exercising more the "sitting still and knowing He is God" muscle and leaning on Him and not myself.  Without this challenge, it may have take a lot longer for me to learn this.

 Oct 6, 2012  with my daughter

June 25, 2012 with my son

 Weight loss update!  I have lost 25.5 pounds as of today  ( half way to my goal)  

    Dear Father,  I thank you for your promise that You will use what was meant for evil for Your Glory,  Thank you Father for Jesus,  for when  I fail you, He had already paid the price and I am found faultless in Your eyes.  Thank you Father, for allowing the sanctification process, where we grow in our short comings as we listen to You, our Teacher, as you show us where we fail.  In Jesus' name, I love You

Goals...

 My goals not met

  Today is the day that I was trying to be another pant size down and it didn't happen....even with the extra effort of exercising.  At first I was a little down because, even with the hard work and staying consistent on my diet plan and exercising...my hard work should have paid off.

 I was gently reminded that I need to hold my head up...maybe God had another goal in His plan set for me than my size reduction....maybe it was a size increase.  The increase was the size of my faith in God.   I had given Him this project of reconstructing His temple in me.  I am elated with His progress in me.

  I first was feeling the pang of discouragement by hitting a plateau in my weight loss; which is lasting way too long for me. I kept seeing that I have 30 more pounds I would like to lose.  What I didn't see was all the positives going in this process.  I didn't gain any weight back and I realized that I wasn't failing at weight loss...I was winning the battle of not throwing in the towel.  I really do not like to exercise, but the videos I have moving along with at Peak313.com has really been fun...and  I have been able to stick with it for 4 weeks so far (1 more week to go for the challenge.)   That is another win!  I feel so much better physically and mentally,  that is the bonus prize in my book.  

 God is doing a magnificent work in me, and I was only focused on what hasn't been happening.  This is a serious WOW GOD! moment for me.  I am my own worst enemy.  

  I try to always remember that it is in God's time and not mine....but I struggle with this when I want something too much.  I am so blessed that I have God living within me.  I get these loving reminders if I be still and listen.  He has put some wonderful cheerleaders in my path, some that were so unexpected but very much cherished.  

 I got on the scale this morning and I am so happy to report that the scale has shown me 4 pounds down since last Friday....God is so good!  I have an official weight in this afternoon.   Hopefully, after I get back from my trip I will have a couple of before (July 17) and after ( 8 weeks) pictures to post to show His wonderful physical rebuilding.  I can't wait to see the finished product.

 The hardest thing, so far, has been the scripture memorization.  Last weeks verse " For everything in the world- the cravings of a sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does- comes not from the Father but the world. 1 John 2:16; still is giving me problems.  I can memorize it, recite it...but it doesn't want to stay....I do believe I should make this my verse of the year....to make it be part of me.  I am so convicted by this verse.   

  

  Father, thank You for you loving reminders.  Thank you for revealing Your answer to my prayers.  You have Your reasons for my struggle as I learn from these challenges.  I know you care about my physical condition, buy it is my heart condition You seem to be focusing on now.   I love knowing that Your plan is perfect. I pray that I adopt Your plan and my plan and continue to honor you with all I do.   Please bless all those that read this, as they are struggling too. 



  UPDATE FROM TODAY'S WEIGHT IN:  I have lost at total of 24 pounds and 33.1/2 inches since July 17th, 2012.   One more pound and I will be half way to my goal.

Update for week 3 Peak 313 challenge

Update for week 3~

  Wow, it it really the end of week 3 and beginning of week 4 already!  This is the longest I have committed to an exercise of any sort since I was in my 20s.  Week 3 was another crazy week for us,so...we continued on with the multitasking exercising.  

  I had so many irons in the fire this week, but yet...I am really much more sore now than I was the first week of exercising.  The new move I added was doing round house karate kicks as I moved thru the house...

 I struggled with the verse this week...I think it was more because of the Word was more convicting of me this week and my sinful nature didn't want me to make it mine.   I still have it on my desk to make sure it stays in my heart and not just memorized. It took me until Sunday night to say it without having to look.   

 Saturday I got to have a lot of fun with my niece, Sister ( n-law) and my daughter...we went to our local corn maze...do I get extra credit for 4 hours of exercise....between the jumping pillow and all the walking....I could barely walk Sunday.

 For my diet, I was put on a special menu to try to bump me out to this plateau I am in.  I have only lost about 1 pound this week, but still retaining water.....however...I have gone from a size 18 to a size 10 (sorta...I can zip them with out having to lay down..but not too comfortable to wear...) since I started at Metabolic Research Center's weight loss clinic in July and my BMI has gone down.  I have to really focus on  who is doing this remodeling of my body...this is where this verse really hits home.  I really can not do anything with out God being in control and totally giving Him my burden.  I will not take credit for this loss, and I felt a little too much pride welling up. ( plus..I have 30 more pounds to go)

This week...I am going to be traveling from Alabama to Virginia to go watch my son play football.   So, my diet and exercises are going to have to be a little more creative this weekend~  I am sure I can find many things to do in Richmond.  

 I have had so much fun with Clare's J.Lo exercise;  I have caught myself walking like I have resistance bands on my feet.  I love to do those Monday thru Friday while I am working at my desk along with a cardiac blast to re-energize myself; instead of reaching for a snack or caffeine. I work both arms and legs while working and do the cardio on the elliptical 3 nights  a week.   I was trying to work my triceps with one of her U Tube exercises, but my band was too short..and back to the sporting goods store....Now I am ready.  My sister in law and I have been encouraging each other with the exercises via the phone and texting...I am really blessed to have her to encourage me.   I am averaging about 40 minutes of exercise a day 3 days a week and 30 minutes on the off days...WOW!  something big time has changed in me...or more like....something GOD sized has moved in me...because honestly...it had to take an act of God to make me exercise in the first place.....

 

  http://www.corndodgersfarm.com/

            This is our local corn maze web address if anyone is from the Headland, Al area.    Best non-exercise feeling exercise I have done in a long time.

Yes, this is me jumping on the air pillow with my daughter....the bonus of being overweight....you can jump really high and knock the scoffers down....  We had a great time together.

 

  

Heartache for a friend

   When I started posting and blogging about the Living and Active Challenge, it was meant to share a fun looking way to join  exercise and scripture in to ones life.  I didn't realize the conversations that would ensue after my sharing, and coming from different people than the ones I had in mind when posting on Facebook.  It saddens my heart to hear of so much confusion and pain in my friends.  

  I won't mention names or places but there are many miles separating the ones who weigh the heaviest.  These stories hit me the hardest because, I was once in each of their shoes. 

    I am going to share just one of the situations going on that is weighing heavily on my heat this morning. I have prayed upon this scenario  for a couple months.  I am hesitant to call it a problem, because God already knew it was going to happen and already has worked the problem out.

 This past June a friend of mine sent me a text message needing to talk and I was available for her to call me at any time she needed me....we live in separate states...so going to her wasn't a possibility.  She never called.  I just prayed for her because I didn't need the details, God already knew what was going on.   Her explanation was that she wouldn't be able to talk because all she can do is cry.  I knew both of her kids were fine and healthy, so I only assumed it was her marriage. My hunch was correct; she finally made a public statement that they are divorcing.  She has pulled away and I am only going to assume that she is focused on helping herself and her teenage children deal with this situation. 

 I have gone thru a divorce that I did not want.  I tried to be what he wanted, which made us both more miserable. I lost who I was in trying to be what I thought he wanted me to be; in turn, made us both bad spouses.  I have learned a lot from a dummy in those years...dummy being me.

  The first thing I was doing wrong was, I was not a Christian....
  I thought I was.  I was a good person, I knew that Christ died on the cross for my sins, I new if I believed that I would go to heaven....I was  just missing that part about repentance and acceptance.....I lived a life that was made up of what I thought was right.

 The next thing I did wrong was not asking God into our marriage....

  The list goes on.....I was looking for my happiness in my husband not in God.  That was way too much to put on any one person.  My happiness was dependent on only how he treated me that day...rejection soon became to ignite  desperation.  I acting out in emotional ways to get my husbands attention.  To feel wanted, pretty and most of all loved was all I wanted from him.

 I have my theories on why I never found happiness as a young bride and it stems back to my childhood, but that too is another story for another time.  What I have learned is that only true happiness can be found in God.  We are made in His likeness and he already Desires, Loves and Wants us.  We are in His image, so we much try to learn to see our selves through Gods eyes.   He made us in a way that we crave Him.  Until we accept Him as our source of happiness, we may never know true joy.   Our spouses can not provide us with what our souls desire, only God can handle that task.  After learning that lesson, I almost feel guilty for what I put my ex-husband thru....almost.

 I know all too well the heartbreak that comes with the break-up of a marriage with children.   I have a son who lives with his father now.   I joke about the situation by saying" I had him the good 12 years, now it's his dad's turn" to keep the emotions down.  We have joint custody and I get to see him in the summers and when he is available on big holidays.  I miss him everyday.  A big  part of me is missing.   I feel for my friend, when the visitations start and realization sets in that there is a rupture in the family she once knew.  Holidays are never the same joyous occasion,: I am not saying there can't be a new normal or new happiness, just not the same as before the separation.

 As I pray for my friend, I pray for her to come to know the Lord as her savior as well as her healer.  I pray for her children as they struggle thru this and that they, too, may come to know and accept Jesus.  As they develop a new "normal", I pray that Jesus is the biggest part of it, not just a mere knowledge that He exists.  I know that God can restore and  strengthen what we see as "unfixable", I pray for His will be done.  Not in just this family but all marriages.  We all are going to face bumps in the road and need to already be relying on God before we even have a hint that troubles are coming.   

Update for week 2 of the 5 week Challenge

Ending is not Such Sweet Sorrow

 This has been one crazy week.  I still have the desire to exercise, as I did the first week, but life keeps interrupting me.  I still can not make myself a priority in my schedule.   

 With that confession out there.....I was able to get 4 days with 25 minutes of exercising in, but I wouldn't call it quality or quantity. My warm ups were what I call "power cleaning", where I rapid clean house as fast as I can running from on end of the house to the other. (try to picture contestants on a game show trying to win prizes) My resistance training was what ever I could figure out to do at my desk with my hand weights and resistance bands, and a couple times I actually got on the elliptical while helping my daughter study for her spelling, reading and science test. Most of my cool downs and stretching took place in the shower as I was getting ready for church, or after school meetings and baton lessons.  

 The scripture came easy again for me. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it's own.  Matthew 6:34.  And it was so appropriate for my week.  Next week doesn't look much better.  I have got to make an appointment with the Veterans Administration to get my disability payments straightened out, and call the state tax department to straighten out a clerical error of theirs, since I can't get them on the phone; and fit in 40 plus hours off work  But Friday is the bright spot as my sister-in-law and niece come to visit.  My daughter gets to do the pregame show with the band, so I must stay diligent in the task at hand.....with all this going on...The Word of God has been a marvelous comfort to me, and the exercise would be a great stress release for me, if these distractions wouldn't consume most of my sparse spare time.

 I am so relieved that my faith is in God, and this problem was already worked out.  I am just prone to drop the ball on my end with so much on my plate and taking care of myself is always the first to go.

  For the exercises I have done this week is a chair version of the J.LO until it hurts.....I honestly didn't pay attention to the sets or reps for the 2 days I did them.  I also worked my triceps as I am trying to get rid of my wings on the underside of my arms. ( about 25 sets of 15 in 3 days), while watching a little tv as I was falling asleep, I was doing leg lifts and extensions with the resistance bands for the last and ensuring 15 minutes...to make sure I got 25 minutes in for the 4 days.   I am praying that my work schedule slows down and I don't have to do more than 40 hours next week.   But, the Lord does know best, and I have given Him my burden.  I can not carry this alone.

  I am so glad the chaos of this week is over and most tasks were completed.   

 Thank you Lord in the safety of this week.  With my distractions and over-whelming schedule, you kept me close to You.   I was able to still be a witness for You in following thru with a commitment I made and ones others made for me. I praise You in showing me mercy this week.  I ask that You show me  the same Mercy next week and I try to fit in even more.  In Jesus' name, I love you.

Day 3 Week 2 of the Challenge

 Day 3 of Week 2 of the Challenge

  Wow, this week is proving to be harder to fit it all in.   I am struggling to find even 25 minutes to exercise.  I am having to really put the effort in the time management and  shockingly not the attitude.   I am going to push thru and get it done.  

   I am really liking the exercises that I am finding on line.  The variety is the key to keeping my attention.   I am so grateful  to Clare at Peak313.com for having a passion for exercising the body's needs along with spiritual needs and the desire to share with strangers.  Her posted videos have been a strong encouragement to me. (Did I mention that these are free!!) There are a few that I am not in good enough physical  strength to do, but gives me something to look forward to doing down the road, and another way  gauge my progress other that a scale.  

 I know I reference this website almost every time I blog, but it has impacted me that much.  I want to share with anyone who may read my posts.   It has been a blessing to me and inevitably it will be to my family also, as I get healthier and more active.   

 In 2 weeks, I am going to Virgina to watch my son play high school football for the first time.  This is his first year of getting to play.  I am so excited.  I last saw him in July and was 20 some pounds heavier.  I have set a goal for me to be down as much as I can for this next visit.   I started the weight loss program at MRC (Metabolic Research Center) right after the last visit.  He has also been an encourager, with asking me for updates after the check in appointment...surprising me, from my 17 year old son.   I know he is excited to see a smaller me.  This is part of my motivation to do well on this exercise challenge.  Short term goals seem to really motivate me more and give me a huge burst of energy to do even better.    so....hopefully I will have the confidence to post pictures from then and of this next visit to show the difference in me appearance.

  I have just enough time to fit my exercising in, go weigh in, and make it to church tonight.   

 I guess the point in this blog is....don't let "things" get in the way of your goal...and remember when you get pushed back a step or two..make sure you make the extra effort to take that next step forward. Don't let your self get stuck in life's muck... KEEP MOVING!!

   25 minutes on the elliptical 5 minutes jump rope....stretched it out in the shower...multitasking at work here

Week 2 of the Living and Active Challenge

 Week 2 of the Living and Active Challenge

 This is going to be a crazy few weeks with lots of activities planned.  But, to hold to my commitment, this is going to be a short update....I am in between assignments of hospitals that I am covering both today...

  I have hit a plateau in my weight loss and have been frustrated.  I have set a goal for 3 weeks from now and am not  seeing it happening, even with the extra effort I have been putting in.  This week's verse is a good one for me to focus on..." Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself . Each day has enough trouble of it's own"Matthew 3:64.   I am more worried about meeting my goal in 3 weeks than I am staying focused on today's goal.  

  I have verbally told myself,over and over, that " You  have given this to God and don't you dare try to pick it back up!  Trust in your Creator to fix what you have messed up"   Today on Facebook, I came across this verse  " Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" Psalm 12.    I am not a Bible expert, but I feel like God was speaking directly to me.   I have asked God to rebuild His temple in me; because my efforts have failed miserably.   I have paced my house in prayer, and reminding my self that this was a  part of  the challenge that I am not going to fail.  I am going to completely trust in God and thank Him instead of worrying about what the scale says, or how swollen my water retaining fingers feel.

  Shortly after I made the statement out loud, I went and got on the scale.  "Praise God!"  I was yelling....the weight gain was going down and my body fat was even 2% lower.  My body was starting to go thru a flush (release of water retention).   It wasn't so much the poundage reduction as it was the fat percentage reduction that almost brought me to tears.  God heard my cries and showed mercy on me.  

  Now, I feel like exercising again, my spirit feels lighter....no pun intended...but I was letting worry get to me and keeping me from honoring my God with what he was trying to do in me.  Now, if I can just remember this lesson and feeling the next time I face a similar challenge

  Dear Father, Please forgive me in the doubt and worry of what you were doing in me.  Thank you for your unending mercies.  May my lack of faith be used to help someone else see how AWESOME you are in all Your ways.  In Jesus' name , Amen.


** I have an official weigh in tomorrow before church....hope to report back with some good news!